Black Hole

I had a milestone to celebrate yesterday, but am in no great mood to cheer for it now. I’m sharing a bit nonetheless…

I have actually managed to finish another book – Where We Belong by Emily Giffin. That accomplished during breastfeeding and waiting for Olive to burp. My enthusiasm to share an unsolicited review was washed cold. I could relate perhaps to the characters since I’m a mother now, crying at one point when Giffin narrated through Marian and Kirby, the painful decision to give away a baby. I loved that Kirby is somewhat a kickass girl with a cool biological parents who turned out to be a famous TV show producer and a musician. Must be the dream of any child out there…

I was reminiscing a little about my working life at Dasma after remembering that it is National Women’s Day yesterday (March 8). I sorta miss the brief recognition program for the female employees of the LGU. Some are even lucky enough to win a simple raffle of gift vouchers. I wasn’t sociable back then (well, even until now), but I do miss being a part of the crowd and having something different happen in your day.

That rarely happens when you’re working at home. There’s a very thin line that separates the awareness that you are at home and you are at your office. Oftentimes, I tend to mix it up and admittedly, my productivity gets affected. And it doesn’t help when you’re shuffling with various jobs (graphic design for your right brain, bookkeeping on your left brain, baby on your chest and arms). Sometimes, you need a change of scenery. But having a baby who’s dependent on you ties you where you work, sleep and eat.

The only reward I know is that I’m doing what I love for work. Not so much for the accounting tasks though. It friggin feels like I’m handed a final exam doing the spreadsheets.


Felt like taking an exam in accounting

I have the urge to write more, since I have no friends to talk to in this hour (actually, even in daylight since we’re islands away). Blogging has after all, been my way of venting of anger and frustration in the past decade. Thank you Multiply for bringing down that feature of yours. I wonder how I could ever digest the negativities if I bothered reading them again. But browsing through numerous blogs authored by a variety of people made me feel that I could share my brighter side of life this time around. I was aiming for that outcome…

Oh if only I still have a car to drive around at my whim. Maybe city lights could offer a little spark. Going adrift to see something different and hopefully help fill up that hole in your chest that aches of gloom.


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