A Day Out in the City

I WENT OUT OF THE HOUSE ALONE LAST THURSDAY!!!

Yes that’s BIG NEWS! The last time I went out alone was for a checkup when I was a few months pregnant and I had to go back home right after because I had so many weird goings-on in my body. This time its to complete my SSS requirements, buy some office supplies and canvass a dress for Olive. We’re planning to have her christened next month.

As usual, the heat and the crowded jeepneys of Cebu were killer factors. I rarely opt to bring an umbrella, but I HAD TO lately. 1 year mahigit na akong di gumagamit ng whitening soap! And though I appreciate the traffic flow in Cebu City, hate ko talaga mag-commute sakay ng jeep. Pilit pa ding pinagkakasya ng mga kundoktor yung isang dosenang pasahero sa jeep na sampuan lang. Siguro kung batang maliliit kaming lahat keri lang. And I don’t know why people still ride a jeep na obvious namang punong puno na if you look from the outside. Meron kahit dulo na lang ng pwet ang nakaupo poise pa din. Talent siguro yun. >_> Dati sa Dasma, kapag nakitang madami ng nakasakay, maghihintay na ng kasunod na jeep yung mga pasahero. Kahit hindi nagsisinungaling yung barker nung sinabi nyang 2 pa yung kasya. Hehe.

Moving on, I unloaded at Maternity (version ng Fabella dito sa Cebu minus the scent of lochia you could smell from outside), crossed to the opposite side of the road para maglakad from Osmeña Circle to Cebu Doc. Oo nagtitipid ako ng pamasahe. Plus I was planning to enjoy the stroll despite knowing its 1:30 PM at walang kaulap-ulap sa siyudad.

Fuente Osmena

Hello City! We meet again!

One thing I appreciate about Cebu is that, unlike Manila, they have wide and clean sidewalks. You wont get paranoid about the people around because there’s a policeman stationed at strategic spots. Hindi naman ganun ka-crowded sa streets ng Cebu on an ordinary day. Compared din sa Manila, controlled naman yung peace and order dito kaya hindi ganun kahigpit ang hawak ko sa bag at hindi din ako nagbaon ng heavy duty cutter.

I passed by the Cebu City Public Library or the Rizal Memorial Library and Museum. Its structure is a bit overwhelming. I learned that the library is only housed in the ground floor. Upstairs probably served as a museum. There was a poster outside about an art exhibit. I’m hoping that its spacious inside, mentally picturing something like APD. Somewhat missed that place. I hope I could bring Olive to the Children’s section when we get home. Oh the huge storybooks and the puppets!

Rizal Memorial Library & Museum

Cebu City Public Library

A few more steps and I’m at my first destination. I went back to Cebu Doctors University Hospital to get my OB and Operating Room record as a requirement for my SSS claim. I just recently had the focus to fix the requirements. Partly because I feel like I need the refund since I couldn’t focus on freelancing lately. I liked the male clerk at the Medical Records Section.  He’s probably around 40-50 years old, but very accommodating despite his intimidating appearance. Plus points that he spoke in Tagalog when I told him I’m can’t understand Cebuano that much. He even checked my SSS maternity claim requirements if I missed something. For my OB record, I had to leave the form with Ms. Arlene, Dr. Larissa’s secretary, and call back if its ready for pick-up. For a while, I kinda missed having my prenatal checkups. Dr. Roa is very reassuring and kind throughout my pregnancy. I’d recommend her to anyone who needs and OB. 🙂

Medical Records Section

Waiting for my OR Records @ Cebudoc

I walked towards the Provincial Capitol after I’m done at CDUH. Mainit pa din. Pero tinamad na ko ilabas yung payong ko. Yung bitbit ko na lang na document envelop pinangsangga ko sa araw. The commute to Ayala was much better. Hindi puno yung jeep and wala ding kundoktor. I went to Broadway Gems first. Kelangang kelangan ko talaga bumili ng pony kasi nawawala yung kaisa-isang ponytail ko na bitbit galing Dasma. Nakakahinayang kasi may sentimental value yun. Tas long hair na ang lola mo, e sobrang humid ngayong mga nakaraang araw mga te. I really need to buy another one and a spare, in case ma-misplace ko na naman. Side effects ng General Anesthesia! So ayun nga. I’m not a fan of fancy hair accessories but I chose a candy colored spring type pony (14 pesos) and a simple black one (8 pesos) (pang serious mood). Namamahalan pa ko dun kasi alam ko sa bangketa makakabili ako nun ng tag-5 lang. Pero sobrang natuwa ako nung napadaan ako sa Marcella & nakita ko yung mga kapareho nun na mas mahal ang presyo. Bargain pa din yung nabili ko. Sinulit ko na din at bumili ako ng dangling earrings, a sparkly heart-shaped fancy diamond and a simple black teardrop pearl at 20 pesos each. Mura na din! Sa bahay lang din naman ako mag-eearrings habang nagtatrabaho. Hehe! I feel like dressing up sometimes kahit nandito lang sa bahay nagtatrabaho no!

Ponies and earrings

Ponytails and earrings from Broadway Gems

Next, I window shopped for a toy para kay Olive. I was thinking about a puppet or a mobile to hang at our bedroom or on top of her crib. Nakaka-respond na kasi siya if she hears a sound. Madaldal na din siya and BabyCenter was recommending the toys for her speech, eye and audio sensory development. Window shop lang kasi I have a strict budget in mind for her toys and christening dress. I found several dresses for Olive and a matching pair of shoes. We’ve decided though, na hindi namin siya pagsusuotin nung makati sa balat yung tela. You know what I’m talking about. Those dresses na parang pang-abay. I’m sure you’ve been forced to wear one before. I saw some that fits our budget pero pretty din & masusuot pa niya on other occassions.

I have my eyes on YOU!!!

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Kikay bib

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Olive's Christening dress?

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Kaso eto na, napansin ko andaming nakabalandra sa hallways. Sale pala sa Metro until March 18! I really not an impulsive buyer, but after seeing so many pretty dresses napakuha talaga ako! I also found a toy for Olive. Just a simple pink baby rattle, the cheapest in the infant toys section. Pero kahit ordinary lang siya, hindi talaga nawala ang attention ng bruha kapag naririnig at nakikita nya yun. ^___^ SULIT!!!

Guilty purchase from the Metro Ayala sale

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Eye candy for Olive

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So this is really how it feels kapag mommy ka na. Parang lagi mo gusto uwian ng pasalubong yung anak mo. Lalo na kapag baby girl! Parang ansarap maghoard ng baby dresses sa mall at umorder ng sunod sunod sa mga online stores. Tough act for a frugal person like me! Nakakaloka lang yung price tags! Mas mahal pa yung mga damit ng baby kesa sa damit naming mag-asawa. At bakit kung anong liit ng mga laruan ngayon, kasing mahal na din ng damit ng baby?! I found a mobile as well with cute teddy bears. I just wasn’t really decisive on buying it (unlike the dress ^_^). I was thinking of bringing along Daddy H before buying. Well actually, its more of getting his approval kasi I’m also planning to buy another set of baby towel and beddings. Mahirap na baka mag-overspend. Hindi pa naman ako masyado nakakapag-oDesk ngayon.

So cute but so expensive

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Hanu ba yan! Pagka-gamay, pagka-mahal! >_>

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Unbelievable price tags! x_X

 

But there. I’m glad I’m able to get another dose of the outdoors. Hope I could go to a different place again next time. Maybe take a stroll again at the Ayala parking lot or the sports complex. Being alone is somewhat therapeutic. Kinda makes me feel like myself again or figure out the changes in my life and embrace it when I come home. I’m thankful my husband allowed me to go. Til the next time! As of the moment, I’ll go burn some keyboards for cash. 😉

Workstation

Work – work – work!

A place for my sanity

Again, this late and I’ve just put Olive down. Its good that she’s sleeping soundly tonight despite me breastfeeding her every 2 hours. No insatiable crying tonight! Nakinig siguro kay Dr. Chiu (her pedia) kanina na yun ang cause ng pagmamalat niya. 2 days na siyang paos ang boses.

So for 2 nights, almost sleepless din kami ni Mr. H and on the second night, umatake na naman ang toyo ko. PPD setting in kasi 2:00 am na ayaw pa din paawat. Bad mood talaga ko later on the day. I’ll write more about PPD in another post. But this square icon generator shared by my friend (Ian) on Facebook made my day. Of course, ever an anime fan, I tried it out first inspired by my crazy mood.

v icon

:)) I think, understatement pa yan. If there were gloom bars and eye bags, or zombie effect, swak na swak yung effect. I posted it on Facebook and kuha agad ng reaction. Pano daw kaya itsura ng husband ko if version naman nya. So I did one for him. :))

mr h icon

I think, nakuha ko talaga itsura nya dito, especially the eye brows, goatee and the mole. Kaso nagrereklamo kasi parang kay ex-PGMA daw yung mole. LOLZ!!! But it wouldn’t be HIM without the mole, and its only that and a larger size dot for the options. Laughtrip! XD  …Anyhow, last but not the least, I made a version of the brat who drove me nuts but who I dearly love. ❤ ^_^ ❤

olive icon

SOOO ADORABLE!!! I wanted to add tear effects on Photoshop but I’ll keep it this way na lang. I swear Olive’s gonna get indoctrinated with anime and manga while she’s growing up. I think its cool and it brings out the humor and the kid in you even when you’re a grown up and in the worst mood. Its like a non-prescribed medicine against my PPD.

On another note, I found a lot of mom blogs today other than those I’ve shared on my blog roll. It makes me feel like I have a social circle despite not having close friends around. The feeling of isolation is somewhat lost. Some I hope I’ve read earlier when I was still pregnant. There were also some who admitted to have experienced post partum depression, and she’s even one of the more popular mom bloggers around. A tinge of relief that I’m not the only one who felt like going crazy on the first day of motherhood.

I’m hoping to establish connections and cultivate something positive out of it. I’m really trying my best and I feel that, like them, I’d be able to enjoy motherhood as well. Wanting now to eat those lactation cookies, shop for baby accessories and look fabulous with baby in tow! Inspired much?! Haha!

That’s it for tonight! We’ll be bathing Olive in the tub for the first time tomorrow (later na pala). Gigil na ko sabunin siya ng Lactacyd!!!

My Daily Routine… Lately

Olive turned 2 months old last March 5. Thankfully, she’s more predictable lately unlike in her first month. Changing diapers, nursing and cradling her to sleep seem more like a habit than a chore. I’m able to work again, although still not in the capacity to accommodate a variety of graphic design clients. I am even able to finish 3 months backlog of cash disbursements for our business. Feeling ko lalo kumulot ang utak ko dahil sa dami ng numero kelangan kong i-review. I admit, I have hard feelings to finish that one but it felt DAMN GOOD to balance accounting figures even though I’m mostly only good at creative stuff. And since I’m a writer ever since, I’m also stubbornly attempting to push blogging in between everything. Haggard, and unimaginable noh?

So what’s a day like in my life? LATELY this has been my routine:

  • Rise and shine at 10:45 AM
  • Breakfast at 11:00 AM
  • @ 11:15 AM — Substitute for a while for Janie (Olive’s yaya) so she could cook lunch
  • @ 12:00 NN – Lunch
  • 12:30 PM – Bring down my working bag (with my Mac, organizer, compilation of vouchers, notepad, wallet, cellphone and chargers) to the dining room which currently serves as my office desk. Love working in wide desks!
Kitchen Desk

My office… in the dining 🙂

  • 1:00 PM – Browse my Facebook, Yahoo Philippines, Bloglovin, Instagram and WordPress for updates before I dive into…
  • 1:30 PM – Work — Business concerns first (client follow ups, checking for scheduled collections and bills payment, coach our Sales Staff, review of liquidated petty cash and update on the accounting stuff) followed by…
  • 3:00 PM – oDesk — As of now, I’m only working with my long term clients. I don’t want to commit yet to new clients and be unable to manage tasks effectively
  • 6:00 PM — Nursing time for Olive as Janie prepares dinner
  • 7:00 PM — Dinner time
  • 8:00 PM — Second evening feeding for Olive
  • 8:30 PM — Move my working bag upstairs to our bedroom where I continue whatever I haven’t finished with oDesk or business concerns.
  • 10:00 PM, 12:00 MN, 2:00 AM — Nurse Olive every 2 hours and still work every hour in between since Olive would be asleep by then OR update my lists such as groceries, things to do, schedules, etc.
  • 6:00 AM — Olive’s bath time (still half asleep during this time. Mr. H & Janie usually does the baths). She’s bottle fed by her yaya from this time until 4:00 PM.

**NOTE: My bath time and blogging are inserted in random hours ^___^’ **

As you can see, I really don’t have time to go out and enjoy a change of scenery. I know. After reading it over, sounds unhealthy. But this is just for now, I guess, until Olive can feed less frequently and would be able to sleep on her own (hindi na kailangan isayaw pa at kargahin para matulog). Yet I know we can’t rush that. As Mr. H & I are saying, we should just enjoy each day while she’s still our cuddly little bundle of joy.

Black Hole

I had a milestone to celebrate yesterday, but am in no great mood to cheer for it now. I’m sharing a bit nonetheless…

I have actually managed to finish another book – Where We Belong by Emily Giffin. That accomplished during breastfeeding and waiting for Olive to burp. My enthusiasm to share an unsolicited review was washed cold. I could relate perhaps to the characters since I’m a mother now, crying at one point when Giffin narrated through Marian and Kirby, the painful decision to give away a baby. I loved that Kirby is somewhat a kickass girl with a cool biological parents who turned out to be a famous TV show producer and a musician. Must be the dream of any child out there…

I was reminiscing a little about my working life at Dasma after remembering that it is National Women’s Day yesterday (March 8). I sorta miss the brief recognition program for the female employees of the LGU. Some are even lucky enough to win a simple raffle of gift vouchers. I wasn’t sociable back then (well, even until now), but I do miss being a part of the crowd and having something different happen in your day.

That rarely happens when you’re working at home. There’s a very thin line that separates the awareness that you are at home and you are at your office. Oftentimes, I tend to mix it up and admittedly, my productivity gets affected. And it doesn’t help when you’re shuffling with various jobs (graphic design for your right brain, bookkeeping on your left brain, baby on your chest and arms). Sometimes, you need a change of scenery. But having a baby who’s dependent on you ties you where you work, sleep and eat.

The only reward I know is that I’m doing what I love for work. Not so much for the accounting tasks though. It friggin feels like I’m handed a final exam doing the spreadsheets.

Numbers

Felt like taking an exam in accounting

I have the urge to write more, since I have no friends to talk to in this hour (actually, even in daylight since we’re islands away). Blogging has after all, been my way of venting of anger and frustration in the past decade. Thank you Multiply for bringing down that feature of yours. I wonder how I could ever digest the negativities if I bothered reading them again. But browsing through numerous blogs authored by a variety of people made me feel that I could share my brighter side of life this time around. I was aiming for that outcome…

Oh if only I still have a car to drive around at my whim. Maybe city lights could offer a little spark. Going adrift to see something different and hopefully help fill up that hole in your chest that aches of gloom.

Bubbling Up

Sound asleep ^_^

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I just put Olive down after her 12:30 AM feed. I’m finally at ease that’s she’s been pacified. Sobrang nasaktan after ng vaccination kanina (kahapon actually, 6:00pm) that she won’t stop crying sa clinic and ayaw din dumede. I was anxious for her. Sabi kasi ni Doc hindi siya lalagnatin sa 5-in-1 vaccine ngayon (the combination of which I’m lazy to look up in her baby book), but she would be in pain. She was prescribed with Tempra to relieve the discomfort. Nung sinabi na in pain, I’m already anticipating the similar pain I felt after my HPV vaccine shots. Parang binugbog ang braso ko. I was afraid its the same thing Olive’s feeling. Ang liit pa naman ng hita nya (although mataba), but you get the proportion I’m talking about.

Anyhow, she’s better already. She’s having a favorable sleeping pattern these days – awake in the morning and asleep at night. Thank God dahil nakabawi na kami ng tulog. Although ako, the usual later sleeper, late din magising. ^^’ Excuse ko — kasi ako nagpapadede sa kanya ng midnight and at 2:00 AM. Olive’s also beginning to do mini-push ups, a lot more coos and gurgles and responsive smiles and laughs! And she’s only just 2 months!

I think, eto na yata yung phase na sabi nila, masarap magka-baby. After the tiring 9 months of pregnancy, the unexpected delivery by CS and a stressful recovery, now ko lang naaappreciate talaga yung gift na may baby. Yes, it is tough physically, mentally and financially. And sometimes the restless crying could drive me insane. But my tiny cupcake gives me all these positive notes:

  • Fun and comic relief when she seems to talk back to me in her own baby language
  • Contagious happiness when she flashes her smiles and laughs
  • Feeling of achievement when she’s able to do something new, as if her progress is also ours
  • A more caring disposition (actually, a more motherly disposition)
  • Youthful vibes, because when there’s a baby, your inner kid just gets out
  • Wanting ALWAYS for the best and not settling for anything second – yung “pwede na yan” attitude (be it toys, dresses, food, etc.)
  • A reason to slow down and cuddle coz we’re a family
  • Constant reason to accomplish more and earn more
  • Alleviated respect to my parents because they must’ve cared for me the way I do with Olive now
  • A drive to establish a homey feel on our apartment (or anywhere we’re living for that matter) — yung gusto mo kumpletuhin na yung mga gamit sa bahay although I didn’t really cared before
  • And lastly… A daily reason to wake up with a smile

If you have a baby yourself, I’m sure you feel the same. Or if you’re a new mom and you’re stressed to your wits, believe what people say. This That phase shall WILL pass. 🙂

Book 2 of the Married Life: Childbirth and Motherhood

I finally got a chance to write a blog entry. This, while uploading files for my client on oDesk, babysitting, and browsing over an Emily Giffin novel. And these, I am only able to do more than 2 months after I gave birth.

I really don’t know where to start telling what happened. Parang kahapon lang malaki pa ang tyan ko and its December, where I almost spent Noche Buena frustrated that my package of longganisa didn’t arrive on time. I was homesick and nilambing ko si Mommy na magpadala ng longganisang Imus. Yun na lang yung pa-Pasko niya sa ‘kin. It was 6 in the evening when the package arrived. The LBC guy should’ve been doomed had I been the one to receive the package. I was preparing my speech in a fit of rage. Buti na lang I was busy cooking the spaghetti, Mr. H got the box. I called back home in Cavite, just to confirm to them that I’ve received the package, along with a few groceries from Tita Mely, loose t-shirts, sleeveless shirts and a daster I’ve requested. Hearing my aunts’ voices and greeting Daddy and Mommy a Merry Christmas — it just made me miss them more…

New Year was no different. It was only Mr. H and me at the apartment. Mark, our stay-in staff and all-around utility went to visit his brother. Aidz was on duty. Ate celebrated somewhere else. We watched the night sky lit up through our bedroom window. But I didn’t watch for too long. Nalalanghap ko na yung pulbura galing sa labas. I was alert for any fire alarms as well. We’re in a neighborhood surrounded by apartments and houses made of highly combustible materials. I don’t want to end up in the hospital earlier than expected. Especially that Mommy’s arriving the next day.

Happy New Year

Mr. H & I goofing around SM, waiting for Mommy’s plane to touch down…

January 1st, Mommy arrived at the airport ahead of time. Mr. H and I picked her up, both of us wearing red shirts, a silly tradition I’ve practiced since I believed in Fengshui. At pinuna talaga ng nanay ko ang suot ko. Naaawa daw siya sa tyan ko cause my blouse (which was loose before I got pregnant) seemed too tight AND I’m also wearing leggings – expected as usual from my fashionista mom. And I was there looking like a suman.

Mr. H and I were actually nervous about her arrival knowing how meticulous she is! While waiting for me to go into labor, she spent the first few days doing our laundry, cleaning our kitchen and bathroom. >_> Despite my efforts, I can’t convince her to stop. She’s really out of her comfort zone. And believe me, I would have done half the cleaning and the laundry if I wasn’t THAT PREGNANT.

I had a scheduled visit to my OB on the first week of January. I was already complaining of back pains which go on and off. Expected naman kasi 39 weeks na ko nun. I remember the afternoon of January 4. Already carrying an emergency bag, Dr. Roa did the first IE on me. IT WAS FRIGGIN PAINFUL!!! Like she’s about to pull something out of my guts. I don’t get why some women talk about IE like its just a pinch in the skin! True enough, she told me I am 4 cm dilated and in the early stages of labor. She was suggesting that we get admitted because it could progress fast. Or we could go home and just return the next day so she could induce my labor since I’ve been complaining about the contractions for several days now.

But, expense-wary as we are, I decided for us to go home and come back later when I feel like I can’t tolerate the pain anymore. I brought Mommy to Ayala Cebu for a stroll. But I know that with her in tow, it wouldn’t be JUST A STROLL. Hehe! I’m keeping a secret of what she bought, but sometimes, women just need to splurge for themselves. Despite being tired, I took advantage of the situation since they say walking helps induce labor.

Mr. H & Me at Ayala

Mr. H & Me at Ayala the night before ako manganak

It actually gave me a higher dose of back pain. Dr. Roa was betting I’d deliver later that evening, but I slept through the night. The next day, the back pain was tolerable again, like I could tour Mommy around the city the entire day. But we went to the hospital that Saturday morning to have my labor induced. I was examined again and found I only dilated 1 centimeter from yesterday.

My stay at the labor room was funny and painful. I was hooked with oxytocin upon my arrival. I brought magazines with me since I got bored the day before, as the resident OBs observed my contractions for 2 hours and I was just staring at the blank walls and empty beds. But that Saturday morning, parang may quota sa mga manganganak. Around noon, the labor room was fully occupied. The resident doctors almost gone, and we’re left with only 1 male med student. I remember him going back and forth through beds, taking vital signs and getting even more panicky when an OB arrives. I was having pity on him. But my attention is split with amusement at the woman on the opposite side of the room. She was really loud, crying and wailing even in just a few minutes that she got in there. I was thinking how over-reacting she is. Perhaps very low pain tolerance, unlike me who’ve almost spent a day hooked with labor-inducing solution, and I could still read Zoren and Carmina’s interview on a showbiz magazine. I’ve already painted a picture of how easy I’d be able to deliver later on, or so I thought.

The loud woman was eventually taken out and headed to the delivery room. After a while, Dr. Roa comes in finding me still in a relaxed state and with my dilation still at 6cm. My water bag isn’t breaking and I’m a bit sleepy. After an hour, she ordered for the resident OB to burst my bag. THAT’S WHEN THE TORTURE BEGAN. I felt the contractions getting stronger and more rhythmic. Like I’m attacked with intense dysmenorrhea every 5 minutes. I was counting the contractions — 5, 20, 30 until the pain was so terrible I just stopped. I felt like something’s gonna come out of me but it just wouldn’t. The most hellish part of it all was when they had to do another IE just to confirm how much I’ve dilated while I’m having strong contractions.

That’s when I heard the most unexpected of all. I had to deliver via CS. My birth canal just wouldn’t stretch for my 5lbs baby to come out. CRAP! I knew we had limited budget, but I couldn’t think of that anymore. Dr. Roa spoke to Mr. H and my mom. I saw the worry painted on his face. Scared perhaps of the pain I’m going through – I was hysterical at the things being injected to me. And anxious about how we’d deal with the bill and my recovery. We were very confident I’d deliver normally. BUT we were there, and there could’ve been more harm to the baby…

That was the last I saw of them before they sped me to the OR. The pain was beginning to be unbearable. I was growing tired and scared of the things they’re administering me. The last thing I remembered was the dull feeling of insertion in my spine and I was out. I remembered briefly gaining consciousness as I felt something touching my cheeks. I heard someone say “Eto na ang baby mo”. I only remembered the feeling of a wet hair on a small head. Finally!

Next thing I know, I was on the recovery room, someone asking me to raise my right foot and then the other. They were checking my blood pressure ‘coz they said it shoot up to 150/90 earlier. I slept again, gaining consciousness later on to realize that something was in my neck. I was horrified to see an IV hose! “Nurse ano to?!”, I asked. To which I was told it was for the epidural. I was assured it was not injected on my neck as they’ve probably observed my horror. The anesthesiologist on duty explained to me that I would be given another dose of pain reliever in the next 12 hours after the dose given to me during the operation has worn off.

I was rolled off to my room later on and reunited with my family. Yes. I was with family, albeit it was only my mother and my husband. It felt a little lonely to not have my dad, my brother and Tita Nelia around when I’m sick as I’m used to. It was also saddening that I wouldn’t be brought home at Cavite where 2 dogs and my small room awaits. Instead, I’d be back at the 30-year old apartment we’re renting with an additional little tenant in tow.

First time I held Olive

First time I held Olive

I can’t remember when I first held her. If it was the next day or 2 days after. All I knew was that I’m happy that the tormenting pain was over and she’s safely in my arms. We named her Olive, after 3 beautiful and kind hearted acquaintances we knew. But the wave of emotions didn’t stop there. We had to stay for 6 days in the hospital because her high bilirubin levels. She was yellow! It dawned on me that motherhood will never be easy. I remember crying from time to time back then, having pity at the tiny person extracted with blood from time to time. I was still in pain from the sutures, tired from being so heavy and uncomfortable with myself for the past 9 months, we’re financially in crisis, and I feel so vulnerable as a new mom. I don’t know anything about being one and yet I have to learn. And the first lesson was that there’s no manual on how to be a mom.

Home Sick. Again.

Its 4:20 AM as I write this. Just finished several logos for 2 clients and my eyes are about to give up. The baby inside me is still awake though. Possibly roused by my slouching posture for the past few hours now. I know we both need to sleep and that its bad for both of us to have all-nighters… But like the early morning adrenaline I still have, my homesickness has been lingering since my parents’ last phone call.

Yes, and that was almost 8 hours ago. Just before Breaking Dawn 2 began at the cinema. I had to cut off my conversation with my dad coz the movie was about to start. They just called to tell me my cousin is giving me my nephew’s stroller and crib.

Its seldom for them to call that late, considering there’s office work later. I just miss my family… 😦 can’t wait to get home next year with baby in tow and meet the new pet. And to think it’d be Christmas in several days makes it all the more sad… T_T