A place for my sanity

Again, this late and I’ve just put Olive down. Its good that she’s sleeping soundly tonight despite me breastfeeding her every 2 hours. No insatiable crying tonight! Nakinig siguro kay Dr. Chiu (her pedia) kanina na yun ang cause ng pagmamalat niya. 2 days na siyang paos ang boses.

So for 2 nights, almost sleepless din kami ni Mr. H and on the second night, umatake na naman ang toyo ko. PPD setting in kasi 2:00 am na ayaw pa din paawat. Bad mood talaga ko later on the day. I’ll write more about PPD in another post. But this square icon generator shared by my friend (Ian) on Facebook made my day. Of course, ever an anime fan, I tried it out first inspired by my crazy mood.

v icon

:)) I think, understatement pa yan. If there were gloom bars and eye bags, or zombie effect, swak na swak yung effect. I posted it on Facebook and kuha agad ng reaction. Pano daw kaya itsura ng husband ko if version naman nya. So I did one for him. :))

mr h icon

I think, nakuha ko talaga itsura nya dito, especially the eye brows, goatee and the mole. Kaso nagrereklamo kasi parang kay ex-PGMA daw yung mole. LOLZ!!! But it wouldn’t be HIM without the mole, and its only that and a larger size dot for the options. Laughtrip! XD  …Anyhow, last but not the least, I made a version of the brat who drove me nuts but who I dearly love. ❤ ^_^ ❤

olive icon

SOOO ADORABLE!!! I wanted to add tear effects on Photoshop but I’ll keep it this way na lang. I swear Olive’s gonna get indoctrinated with anime and manga while she’s growing up. I think its cool and it brings out the humor and the kid in you even when you’re a grown up and in the worst mood. Its like a non-prescribed medicine against my PPD.

On another note, I found a lot of mom blogs today other than those I’ve shared on my blog roll. It makes me feel like I have a social circle despite not having close friends around. The feeling of isolation is somewhat lost. Some I hope I’ve read earlier when I was still pregnant. There were also some who admitted to have experienced post partum depression, and she’s even one of the more popular mom bloggers around. A tinge of relief that I’m not the only one who felt like going crazy on the first day of motherhood.

I’m hoping to establish connections and cultivate something positive out of it. I’m really trying my best and I feel that, like them, I’d be able to enjoy motherhood as well. Wanting now to eat those lactation cookies, shop for baby accessories and look fabulous with baby in tow! Inspired much?! Haha!

That’s it for tonight! We’ll be bathing Olive in the tub for the first time tomorrow (later na pala). Gigil na ko sabunin siya ng Lactacyd!!!

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Bubbling Up

Sound asleep ^_^

A post shared by Vanessa Ezra Olaes Goopio (@vanessa_xyz) on

I just put Olive down after her 12:30 AM feed. I’m finally at ease that’s she’s been pacified. Sobrang nasaktan after ng vaccination kanina (kahapon actually, 6:00pm) that she won’t stop crying sa clinic and ayaw din dumede. I was anxious for her. Sabi kasi ni Doc hindi siya lalagnatin sa 5-in-1 vaccine ngayon (the combination of which I’m lazy to look up in her baby book), but she would be in pain. She was prescribed with Tempra to relieve the discomfort. Nung sinabi na in pain, I’m already anticipating the similar pain I felt after my HPV vaccine shots. Parang binugbog ang braso ko. I was afraid its the same thing Olive’s feeling. Ang liit pa naman ng hita nya (although mataba), but you get the proportion I’m talking about.

Anyhow, she’s better already. She’s having a favorable sleeping pattern these days – awake in the morning and asleep at night. Thank God dahil nakabawi na kami ng tulog. Although ako, the usual later sleeper, late din magising. ^^’ Excuse ko — kasi ako nagpapadede sa kanya ng midnight and at 2:00 AM. Olive’s also beginning to do mini-push ups, a lot more coos and gurgles and responsive smiles and laughs! And she’s only just 2 months!

I think, eto na yata yung phase na sabi nila, masarap magka-baby. After the tiring 9 months of pregnancy, the unexpected delivery by CS and a stressful recovery, now ko lang naaappreciate talaga yung gift na may baby. Yes, it is tough physically, mentally and financially. And sometimes the restless crying could drive me insane. But my tiny cupcake gives me all these positive notes:

  • Fun and comic relief when she seems to talk back to me in her own baby language
  • Contagious happiness when she flashes her smiles and laughs
  • Feeling of achievement when she’s able to do something new, as if her progress is also ours
  • A more caring disposition (actually, a more motherly disposition)
  • Youthful vibes, because when there’s a baby, your inner kid just gets out
  • Wanting ALWAYS for the best and not settling for anything second – yung “pwede na yan” attitude (be it toys, dresses, food, etc.)
  • A reason to slow down and cuddle coz we’re a family
  • Constant reason to accomplish more and earn more
  • Alleviated respect to my parents because they must’ve cared for me the way I do with Olive now
  • A drive to establish a homey feel on our apartment (or anywhere we’re living for that matter) — yung gusto mo kumpletuhin na yung mga gamit sa bahay although I didn’t really cared before
  • And lastly… A daily reason to wake up with a smile

If you have a baby yourself, I’m sure you feel the same. Or if you’re a new mom and you’re stressed to your wits, believe what people say. This That phase shall WILL pass. 🙂